So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
