I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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