Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
