My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
