I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
