I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
