xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize