I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
