if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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