I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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