i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
