I just cut my nipple shaving
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
