if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize