just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
