Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he was CRYING into my vagina
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
