Who did Billy Mays play for?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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