i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
