Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
