stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
