I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You need Xanax blowdarts
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
