i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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