ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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