Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
