Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
