you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
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