Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
