butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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