I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
