So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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