you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize