I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
