and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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