So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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