i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The air was thick with penises
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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