I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
