____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
