Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
