Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Please don't give away my fajitas
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
