I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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