i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
