I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
