great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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