I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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