dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
