Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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