I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
