youre lurking in front of me
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
