Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
