Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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