should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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