The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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