Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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