So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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