i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize