Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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