Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
we should paint friendship bongs
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
