if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
