Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he fucked my hip out of place.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
