True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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