KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
