Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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